NEW LATEST FUNNY JOKES IN HINDI...............

Allaah, Mere dhande mein barkat de

 

Ek aadmi dua kar raha tha..
‘Ya allah, mere dhande mein barkat de’
Peechhe se aawaz aayi
Koi abhi aameen mat bolo re, sab ke sab nipat jaoge.
Saala kafan bechta hai!!

Santa ki Maa 

Santa ki Maa:- 20 saal tak meri koi aulad nahi hui
Press reporter:- Fir apne kya kiya?
Santa ki Maa:- Fir mai 21 saal ki hui to papa ne meri shadi krai. Fir ja ke Santa hua.. !!

 

top funny Latest Bade Chhote Jokes

Bade: kya hua, bada pareshan lag raha hai
Chhote: haan, yaar thodi tabiyat kharab hai
Bade: kya ho gaya? doctor ko dikhaya?
Chhote: arey yaar dil mein dard hai… nahi dikhaya, Dr. Mehta ko dikhane hi ja raha hoon
Bade: Dr. Mehta ko! arey wo to dimag ka doctor hai?
Chhote: Haan, yaar Doctor mehta ko hi…wahi sahi karega na
Bade: Tu pagal ho gaya hai kya? heart ki beemari ke liye heart ke doctor ko dikha, pagalpan ke ilaaj
karne wale doctor ko kyun dikha raha hai?
Chhote: Arey wahi to dil ka ilaaj karega na…
Bade: Abe, Wo kaise?
Chhote: Tune nahi suna… Dil To Pagal Hai!!! ….hahahah
Bade: Bakwas band kar!!

latest funny jokes.. Reaction of Celebs after India’s successful mars mission

Alia bhatt: Ab ‘MARS’ wali chocolate aur bhi sasti ho jayegi..
Rahul gandhi: Main mars se chunav ladunga…
Priyanka Gandhi: We should change the name of mars to Rajiv Gandhi Lal Grah.
Anil ambani = my IPL team cricketers will be from MARS. i will name it after my wife’s name
“MARS TINA HOTTERS”.
Sonia Gandhi = Martians should be declared as Minorities…
Kejriwal = It is illegal step by Modi’s government to conquer mars. Hum MARS par dharna karenge..
Geelani = We want Mars free from India…
Chidambaram = Mars is a Special Economic Zone area. It Should be given to Robert Vadra..
Akhilesh yadav = Mars par Uttar pradesh se jyaada apradh hotey hain.
And the best statement comes from pakistan
Bilawal Bhutto = Hum Mars ka ek ek inch bharat se le lawange ….

funny jokes of Sanjay Dutt aur Baapu

In Jail..
Sanjay Dutt: Jailer sahab, Mujhe fir se baapu dikh rela hai!
Jailer: Kidhar?
Sanjay Dutt: Wo udhar dhoti mein..
Jailer: Abe Asaram bapu hai...

most funny Latest Hindi Chutkule Jokes

Boss- Tumhari ability?
Lady secretary-
Young hoon,
Dynamic hoon,
Sincere hoon,
Honest hoon,
Hardworking hoon,
Qualified hoon,
Experienced hoon,
Deserving hoon,
Typing janti hoon,
File sahi rakhti hoon,
Computer me expert hoon,
Thoda accounts bhi janti hoon,
Boss: aur kuch
Lady: modern khayalat ki hoon,
Disease free aur healthy hoon,
Khana bhi accha pakati hoon,
Sabse Jaruri Baat ki
Apne flat me akeli rehti hoon…!
Boss: bas kar pagli,
ab kya joinning ke Din promotion legi!!

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Naughty Sunny Leone Jokes

Once the famous superstar Rajinikanth sent a non-veg joke to an innocent girl.
Now we know that girl as Sunny Leone!
————-
Whats The Similarity Between Sunny Deol And Sunny Leone?
They Both Shout A Lot In Their Movies!
—
If Sunny Leone gets married to Sunny Deol. She will become Sunny Deol!
————-
Sunny Leone participates in Amitabh Bachchan’s Kaun Banega Crorepati.
Amitabh: Which is your favourite round in KBC?
Sunny Leone: After lot of thinking says… Fastest Finger First!

————-
Sunny Leone arrived at a Railway Station for a shooting..
Bhikhari: Behanji 1 rupaiya dedo…
Sunny Leone gave him 1000 Rs.
Secretary: Why u gave him 1000 Rs..?
Sunny Leone: Pehli bar kisi ne behan kaha ha, dil bhawuk ho gaya!
————-
Postal department has issued Sunny Leone stamps.
Men are confused which side to lick and which side to stick!

Funny WhatsApp Jokes on Rahul and Pakistan after Narendra Modi’s Win in Elections

Agar aap ab ki baar modi sarkar sun sun ke pak chuke hain, to suniye kuchh naya…
Surakshit Kaale mere baal, Pagal ho gaya Kejriwal
Chyavanprash ho Sona Chandi, Nahin Jeetega Rahul Gandhi
——————
Ab to Congress ke bhi achche din aane wale hain
ND tiwari ke baad, Digvijay Bhabhi laane wale hain!
————–
Upar Chhatri, Neeche Chhaya
Bhaag Rahul, Modi Aaya!!
—————-
Rahul jahan bhi ho Ghar aa jao, mata aur bahen dono paresan hai. Koi kuchh nahi kahega, sari jimmedari Manmohan uncle ne li hai. Jaldi aajao bas…
—————–
New Congress slogan :
Abki baar……..
Antim sanskaar
—————–
Urgent Update – Pakistan declares On GeoTv – we don’t want Kashmir now…but we will not give karachi.
——————
Pakistan mein dast rokne ki bikri mein aaj subah se apratyashit badhawa dekhne ko mila hai!!
——————-
16 May 2014 ko dopahar delhi railway station se pakistan ke liye special train rawana hogi..
Shahrukh Khan, Lalu Yadav sahi jin bhi mahanubhaavo ne Modi ke PM banne par desh chhodne ki ghoshna ki thi, wo sabhi samay pat station pahunch jaayein!
1) 5 saal se bade bachcho ka poora ticket lagega (Rahul Gandhi Ka Bhi)
2) Jeb Katro se saawdhaan (Train mein chidambaram bhi honge)
3) Nav-vivahit jode ke liye S-1 mein seat rahegi (Diggi Raja)
—————-
Aap ke paas Seatein Chaar
Ab ki baar Modi Sarkar!!
——————-
Finally, the bizarre is over and here goes the awards for different category.
Best Actor- Aravind Kejriwal
Best Debut child actor- Rahul Gandhi
Best female actor in supporting role- Mamta Banerjee
Best female actor in negative role- Soniya Gandhi
Best actor in comic role- Digvijay Singh
Life time achievment award-Lal Krishna Advani
Movie of the year-Abki baar Modi Sarkar
Its heard that Anurag Basu has approached Manmohan Singh for “Barfi 2″.

most funny special Karwa-Chauth Joke – Indian Husbands Explaination

Ye Auratein bhi bahut ajeeb hain!

364 din purusho ko jeene nahin deti… fir ek din ka karwa-chauth ka vrat rakhkar, unhe marne bhi nahin deti!

ENGLISH VERSION – Indian Husband & Mr. Bean

Bean: What is this ‘Karva Chauth’ festival in India?
Indian Husband: We Indians have rich culture and this festival is one of the highlights.
Bean : Tell me Dude, I’m all ears…
Husband: On a certain day, once a year, the wife will keep a fast from dawn to dusk for her husband…
Bean : For What ??
Husband: For the blessings from the Universe for her Husband’s Long life…
Bean : Ah, I see. First she doesn’t let him Live, And… Now She fasts to ensure he won’t Die easily either. !!

must read Funny Flipkart – The Big Billion Day Jokes

Flipkart made billions by making a billion people fool on this day!
Some nice jokes on flipkart services were trending on twitter and facebook.
Here are a few to make you laugh.
‘Sold out’ is to Flipkart what “Please try again later” is to IRCTC
———————–
Most sold item by Flipkart on #BigBillionDay is its Credibility.
———————–
Good news. The 500 Internal Server Error pages are gone from flipkart. Now you have 404 Page Not Found pages. 19.2% off on error message

———————–
New on FlipKart: Robert Vadra purchasing lands in Haryana on 99% discount.
———————–
Flipkart Flipkart
Yes Papa
Selling Cheaper?
Yes Papa
Telling lies?
No Papa
Where r the offers?
Ha Ha Ha
———————–
Even Rajinikanth and Sir Jadeja are not able to buy products form #Flipkart.
———————–
Flipkart trolled here
Shopping Checked on #Flipkart for #BigBillionDay then #Amazonindia & finally purchased from #Snapdeal for #CheckSnapdealToday
———————–
Meanwhile Party at Flipkart Headquarters

image credit: All India Bakchod
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best funny jokes on Modi ki Clean India Campaign ka Asar

The Modi Effect #MyCleanIndia


 

Funny two liners PJ from WhatsApp

Ladkiya bhi ajeeb hoti hain,
Taiyaar hone ke liye parlour jaati hain aur…
.
.
.
Parlour jaane ke liye bhi taiyaar hoti hain!
———————-
Logo ko pata nahi kaise sachcha pyaar mil jaata hai..
.
.
.
Hamein to subah palang ke neeche utaari chappal bhi nahin milti!

———————-
Kaun kehta hai ki sirf mohannat mein hi dard hota hai,
Kambakht…
.
.
.
Darwaze mein ungli aa jaaye to bhi jaan nikal jaati hai!
———————-
Jab tak zinda hoon message karta rahunga,
Jis din na karun samjh lena…
.
.
.
Ki agle din karunga!
Aur kya.. maar do jaalimo abhi meri umar hi kya hui hai jo main maroon.
———————-
Agar aap kahin jaldi mein jaa rahe ho..
Aur ‘Kaali Billi’ aapke aage se gujar jaaye to iska matlab…
.
.
.
‘Kaali Billi’ aapse jyada jaldi mein hai!
———————-
Samosa aaloo se: Jab main fry hota hoon,
to tumhe dhak kar garam tel se bacha leta hoon, kyunki main tumse pyaar karta hoon.
Aaloo: Jab log tumhe fry hone ke fauran baad khaate hain to main unka muh jala deta hoon, kyunki main bhi tumse pyaar karta hoon!
.
.
.
Shiksha: Inki prem kahaani par na jaayein,
Samosa thanda karke khaayein!
———————-
Duniya mein wo kaun si cheez hai,
Jo sabse jyada baar foolti hai..
Phir bhi uske aakaar mein koi pariwartan nahin hota!!
.
.
Biwi ka thobdaa …!

TOP MOST FUNNY JOKES OF SANTA BANTA IN HINDI...MATHS VICH FAIL KYU HO GAYA??

Maths Vich Fail Kyu Hoya – Sardar Rocks 

 

Santa to Son: “maths vich fail kyu hoya”..??
Son: 1st day teacher kendi
5+3=8..
Agle din kendi
6+2=8..
fir kendi
4+4=8
Ullu di pathi khud confusd hai menu ki padaeygi!!

TOP FUNNY SANTA JOKES IN HINDI..

Santa and Chinese man’s wife

A Chinese man’s wife dies 1 year after marriage…
Santa Sardar tries to console Chinese but doesn’t know what to say..!!
Sardar : Hota hai yaar. Chinese thi, aur kitna chalti… :-:P

   Santa and Chinese man’s wife

A Chinese man’s wife dies 1 year after marriage…
Santa Sardar tries to console Chinese but doesn’t know what to say..!!
Sardar : Hota hai yaar. Chinese thi, aur kitna chalti… :-

INTERVIEW PUZZLES CHECK YOUR ABILITIES..

You have two jars, 50 red marbles and 50 blue marbles. You need to place all the marbles into the jars such that when you blindly pick one marble out of one jar, you maximize the chances that it will be red. When picking, you’ll first randomly pick a jar, and then randomly pick a marble out of that jar. You can arrange the marbles however you like, but each marble must be in a jar. See Solution : Red and blue marbles

 

 

SOLUTION

RED AND BLUE MARBLES 

THE TOP BEST INTELIGENT PUZZLES AND RIDDLES FOR INTERVIEW PREPARATION

Find 3 Fastest horses from 25 hourses

 

There are 25 horses. We have to find out the fastest 3 horses. In one race maximum 5 horses can run. How many such races are required in minimum to get the result ?

find 3 fastest horses from 25 horses puzzle

CHECK BELOW FOR ANSWER IF U CANT SOLVE IT

We can first do 5 races by taking 5-5 horses and get top horse in each race
Lets say it looks like this
O1,O2,O3,O4,O5
T1,T2,T3,T4,T5
TH1,TH2,TH3,TH4,TH5
F1,F2,F3,F4,F5
FV1,FV2,FV3,FV4,FV5
Here O1 > O2 > O3 > O4 > O5 same way for others.
Now lets take fastest horse in each race and then have one race between them, so have race in O1, T1, TH1, F1 and FV1.
Lets say O1, TH1 and F1 comes in top three(and O1 > TH1 > F1), then there are no chances that horses slower than T1 and FV1 can come in top 3 and we can also say that O1 is fastest horse and also F2-F5 horses are not among top 3.
Now we need to find second and third fastest horses
they can be from O2,O3,TH1,TH2 and F1, So we will have once more race among them to determine second and third position.
Thus a total of minimum 7 races are needed to find top 3 horses from 25 horses.

Guess girl’s name from whatsapp emoticons==SOLVE IF U CAN CHALLENGE

Guess girl name from whatsapp emoticons

Girl name using whatsapp emoticons

DO U KNOW???

SOLVE TOP PUZZLES CHALLENGE--Cream Cream Mix Fruit – Girls name

Ek LADKI ne Apna naam ENGLISH me bataya <cream cream mix fruit> Uska naam HINDI me kya hoga?

SOCHO SOCHO--SEND UR INTERESTING ANSWERS IN COMMENTS