NEW LATEST FUNNY JOKES IN HINDI...............

Allaah, Mere dhande mein barkat de

 

Ek aadmi dua kar raha tha..
‘Ya allah, mere dhande mein barkat de’
Peechhe se aawaz aayi
Koi abhi aameen mat bolo re, sab ke sab nipat jaoge.
Saala kafan bechta hai!!

Santa ki Maa 

Santa ki Maa:- 20 saal tak meri koi aulad nahi hui
Press reporter:- Fir apne kya kiya?
Santa ki Maa:- Fir mai 21 saal ki hui to papa ne meri shadi krai. Fir ja ke Santa hua.. !!

 

top funny Latest Bade Chhote Jokes

Bade: kya hua, bada pareshan lag raha hai
Chhote: haan, yaar thodi tabiyat kharab hai
Bade: kya ho gaya? doctor ko dikhaya?
Chhote: arey yaar dil mein dard hai… nahi dikhaya, Dr. Mehta ko dikhane hi ja raha hoon
Bade: Dr. Mehta ko! arey wo to dimag ka doctor hai?
Chhote: Haan, yaar Doctor mehta ko hi…wahi sahi karega na
Bade: Tu pagal ho gaya hai kya? heart ki beemari ke liye heart ke doctor ko dikha, pagalpan ke ilaaj
karne wale doctor ko kyun dikha raha hai?
Chhote: Arey wahi to dil ka ilaaj karega na…
Bade: Abe, Wo kaise?
Chhote: Tune nahi suna… Dil To Pagal Hai!!! ….hahahah
Bade: Bakwas band kar!!

latest funny jokes.. Reaction of Celebs after India’s successful mars mission

Alia bhatt: Ab ‘MARS’ wali chocolate aur bhi sasti ho jayegi..
Rahul gandhi: Main mars se chunav ladunga…
Priyanka Gandhi: We should change the name of mars to Rajiv Gandhi Lal Grah.
Anil ambani = my IPL team cricketers will be from MARS. i will name it after my wife’s name
“MARS TINA HOTTERS”.
Sonia Gandhi = Martians should be declared as Minorities…
Kejriwal = It is illegal step by Modi’s government to conquer mars. Hum MARS par dharna karenge..
Geelani = We want Mars free from India…
Chidambaram = Mars is a Special Economic Zone area. It Should be given to Robert Vadra..
Akhilesh yadav = Mars par Uttar pradesh se jyaada apradh hotey hain.
And the best statement comes from pakistan
Bilawal Bhutto = Hum Mars ka ek ek inch bharat se le lawange ….

funny jokes of Sanjay Dutt aur Baapu

In Jail..
Sanjay Dutt: Jailer sahab, Mujhe fir se baapu dikh rela hai!
Jailer: Kidhar?
Sanjay Dutt: Wo udhar dhoti mein..
Jailer: Abe Asaram bapu hai...

most funny Latest Hindi Chutkule Jokes

Boss- Tumhari ability?
Lady secretary-
Young hoon,
Dynamic hoon,
Sincere hoon,
Honest hoon,
Hardworking hoon,
Qualified hoon,
Experienced hoon,
Deserving hoon,
Typing janti hoon,
File sahi rakhti hoon,
Computer me expert hoon,
Thoda accounts bhi janti hoon,
Boss: aur kuch
Lady: modern khayalat ki hoon,
Disease free aur healthy hoon,
Khana bhi accha pakati hoon,
Sabse Jaruri Baat ki
Apne flat me akeli rehti hoon…!
Boss: bas kar pagli,
ab kya joinning ke Din promotion legi!!

• 
  
• 
  

 

Naughty Sunny Leone Jokes

Once the famous superstar Rajinikanth sent a non-veg joke to an innocent girl.
Now we know that girl as Sunny Leone!
————-
Whats The Similarity Between Sunny Deol And Sunny Leone?
They Both Shout A Lot In Their Movies!
—
If Sunny Leone gets married to Sunny Deol. She will become Sunny Deol!
————-
Sunny Leone participates in Amitabh Bachchan’s Kaun Banega Crorepati.
Amitabh: Which is your favourite round in KBC?
Sunny Leone: After lot of thinking says… Fastest Finger First!

————-
Sunny Leone arrived at a Railway Station for a shooting..
Bhikhari: Behanji 1 rupaiya dedo…
Sunny Leone gave him 1000 Rs.
Secretary: Why u gave him 1000 Rs..?
Sunny Leone: Pehli bar kisi ne behan kaha ha, dil bhawuk ho gaya!
————-
Postal department has issued Sunny Leone stamps.
Men are confused which side to lick and which side to stick!

Funny WhatsApp Jokes on Rahul and Pakistan after Narendra Modi’s Win in Elections

Agar aap ab ki baar modi sarkar sun sun ke pak chuke hain, to suniye kuchh naya…
Surakshit Kaale mere baal, Pagal ho gaya Kejriwal
Chyavanprash ho Sona Chandi, Nahin Jeetega Rahul Gandhi
——————
Ab to Congress ke bhi achche din aane wale hain
ND tiwari ke baad, Digvijay Bhabhi laane wale hain!
————–
Upar Chhatri, Neeche Chhaya
Bhaag Rahul, Modi Aaya!!
—————-
Rahul jahan bhi ho Ghar aa jao, mata aur bahen dono paresan hai. Koi kuchh nahi kahega, sari jimmedari Manmohan uncle ne li hai. Jaldi aajao bas…
—————–
New Congress slogan :
Abki baar……..
Antim sanskaar
—————–
Urgent Update – Pakistan declares On GeoTv – we don’t want Kashmir now…but we will not give karachi.
——————
Pakistan mein dast rokne ki bikri mein aaj subah se apratyashit badhawa dekhne ko mila hai!!
——————-
16 May 2014 ko dopahar delhi railway station se pakistan ke liye special train rawana hogi..
Shahrukh Khan, Lalu Yadav sahi jin bhi mahanubhaavo ne Modi ke PM banne par desh chhodne ki ghoshna ki thi, wo sabhi samay pat station pahunch jaayein!
1) 5 saal se bade bachcho ka poora ticket lagega (Rahul Gandhi Ka Bhi)
2) Jeb Katro se saawdhaan (Train mein chidambaram bhi honge)
3) Nav-vivahit jode ke liye S-1 mein seat rahegi (Diggi Raja)
—————-
Aap ke paas Seatein Chaar
Ab ki baar Modi Sarkar!!
——————-
Finally, the bizarre is over and here goes the awards for different category.
Best Actor- Aravind Kejriwal
Best Debut child actor- Rahul Gandhi
Best female actor in supporting role- Mamta Banerjee
Best female actor in negative role- Soniya Gandhi
Best actor in comic role- Digvijay Singh
Life time achievment award-Lal Krishna Advani
Movie of the year-Abki baar Modi Sarkar
Its heard that Anurag Basu has approached Manmohan Singh for “Barfi 2″.

most funny special Karwa-Chauth Joke – Indian Husbands Explaination

Ye Auratein bhi bahut ajeeb hain!

364 din purusho ko jeene nahin deti… fir ek din ka karwa-chauth ka vrat rakhkar, unhe marne bhi nahin deti!

ENGLISH VERSION – Indian Husband & Mr. Bean

Bean: What is this ‘Karva Chauth’ festival in India?
Indian Husband: We Indians have rich culture and this festival is one of the highlights.
Bean : Tell me Dude, I’m all ears…
Husband: On a certain day, once a year, the wife will keep a fast from dawn to dusk for her husband…
Bean : For What ??
Husband: For the blessings from the Universe for her Husband’s Long life…
Bean : Ah, I see. First she doesn’t let him Live, And… Now She fasts to ensure he won’t Die easily either. !!

must read Funny Flipkart – The Big Billion Day Jokes

Flipkart made billions by making a billion people fool on this day!
Some nice jokes on flipkart services were trending on twitter and facebook.
Here are a few to make you laugh.
‘Sold out’ is to Flipkart what “Please try again later” is to IRCTC
———————–
Most sold item by Flipkart on #BigBillionDay is its Credibility.
———————–
Good news. The 500 Internal Server Error pages are gone from flipkart. Now you have 404 Page Not Found pages. 19.2% off on error message

———————–
New on FlipKart: Robert Vadra purchasing lands in Haryana on 99% discount.
———————–
Flipkart Flipkart
Yes Papa
Selling Cheaper?
Yes Papa
Telling lies?
No Papa
Where r the offers?
Ha Ha Ha
———————–
Even Rajinikanth and Sir Jadeja are not able to buy products form #Flipkart.
———————–
Flipkart trolled here
Shopping Checked on #Flipkart for #BigBillionDay then #Amazonindia & finally purchased from #Snapdeal for #CheckSnapdealToday
———————–
Meanwhile Party at Flipkart Headquarters

image credit: All India Bakchod
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best funny jokes on Modi ki Clean India Campaign ka Asar

The Modi Effect #MyCleanIndia


 

Funny two liners PJ from WhatsApp

Ladkiya bhi ajeeb hoti hain,
Taiyaar hone ke liye parlour jaati hain aur…
.
.
.
Parlour jaane ke liye bhi taiyaar hoti hain!
———————-
Logo ko pata nahi kaise sachcha pyaar mil jaata hai..
.
.
.
Hamein to subah palang ke neeche utaari chappal bhi nahin milti!

———————-
Kaun kehta hai ki sirf mohannat mein hi dard hota hai,
Kambakht…
.
.
.
Darwaze mein ungli aa jaaye to bhi jaan nikal jaati hai!
———————-
Jab tak zinda hoon message karta rahunga,
Jis din na karun samjh lena…
.
.
.
Ki agle din karunga!
Aur kya.. maar do jaalimo abhi meri umar hi kya hui hai jo main maroon.
———————-
Agar aap kahin jaldi mein jaa rahe ho..
Aur ‘Kaali Billi’ aapke aage se gujar jaaye to iska matlab…
.
.
.
‘Kaali Billi’ aapse jyada jaldi mein hai!
———————-
Samosa aaloo se: Jab main fry hota hoon,
to tumhe dhak kar garam tel se bacha leta hoon, kyunki main tumse pyaar karta hoon.
Aaloo: Jab log tumhe fry hone ke fauran baad khaate hain to main unka muh jala deta hoon, kyunki main bhi tumse pyaar karta hoon!
.
.
.
Shiksha: Inki prem kahaani par na jaayein,
Samosa thanda karke khaayein!
———————-
Duniya mein wo kaun si cheez hai,
Jo sabse jyada baar foolti hai..
Phir bhi uske aakaar mein koi pariwartan nahin hota!!
.
.
Biwi ka thobdaa …!

TOP MOST FUNNY JOKES OF SANTA BANTA IN HINDI...MATHS VICH FAIL KYU HO GAYA??

Maths Vich Fail Kyu Hoya – Sardar Rocks 

 

Santa to Son: “maths vich fail kyu hoya”..??
Son: 1st day teacher kendi
5+3=8..
Agle din kendi
6+2=8..
fir kendi
4+4=8
Ullu di pathi khud confusd hai menu ki padaeygi!!

TOP FUNNY SANTA JOKES IN HINDI..

Santa and Chinese man’s wife

A Chinese man’s wife dies 1 year after marriage…
Santa Sardar tries to console Chinese but doesn’t know what to say..!!
Sardar : Hota hai yaar. Chinese thi, aur kitna chalti… :-:P

   Santa and Chinese man’s wife

A Chinese man’s wife dies 1 year after marriage…
Santa Sardar tries to console Chinese but doesn’t know what to say..!!
Sardar : Hota hai yaar. Chinese thi, aur kitna chalti… :-

INTERVIEW PUZZLES CHECK YOUR ABILITIES..

You have two jars, 50 red marbles and 50 blue marbles. You need to place all the marbles into the jars such that when you blindly pick one marble out of one jar, you maximize the chances that it will be red. When picking, you’ll first randomly pick a jar, and then randomly pick a marble out of that jar. You can arrange the marbles however you like, but each marble must be in a jar. See Solution : Red and blue marbles

 

 

SOLUTION

RED AND BLUE MARBLES 

THE TOP BEST INTELIGENT PUZZLES AND RIDDLES FOR INTERVIEW PREPARATION

Find 3 Fastest horses from 25 hourses

 

There are 25 horses. We have to find out the fastest 3 horses. In one race maximum 5 horses can run. How many such races are required in minimum to get the result ?

find 3 fastest horses from 25 horses puzzle

CHECK BELOW FOR ANSWER IF U CANT SOLVE IT

We can first do 5 races by taking 5-5 horses and get top horse in each race
Lets say it looks like this
O1,O2,O3,O4,O5
T1,T2,T3,T4,T5
TH1,TH2,TH3,TH4,TH5
F1,F2,F3,F4,F5
FV1,FV2,FV3,FV4,FV5
Here O1 > O2 > O3 > O4 > O5 same way for others.
Now lets take fastest horse in each race and then have one race between them, so have race in O1, T1, TH1, F1 and FV1.
Lets say O1, TH1 and F1 comes in top three(and O1 > TH1 > F1), then there are no chances that horses slower than T1 and FV1 can come in top 3 and we can also say that O1 is fastest horse and also F2-F5 horses are not among top 3.
Now we need to find second and third fastest horses
they can be from O2,O3,TH1,TH2 and F1, So we will have once more race among them to determine second and third position.
Thus a total of minimum 7 races are needed to find top 3 horses from 25 horses.

Guess girl’s name from whatsapp emoticons==SOLVE IF U CAN CHALLENGE

Guess girl name from whatsapp emoticons

Girl name using whatsapp emoticons

DO U KNOW???

SOLVE TOP PUZZLES CHALLENGE--Cream Cream Mix Fruit – Girls name

Ek LADKI ne Apna naam ENGLISH me bataya <cream cream mix fruit> Uska naam HINDI me kya hoga?

SOCHO SOCHO--SEND UR INTERESTING ANSWERS IN COMMENTS

 

Dimag ki jaanch karne ka upaay,,,funnny jokes in hindi

Agar aap apne dimag ki jaanch karna chahte hain..
to yeh upaay apnaaiye…
Ek gaay (cow) ke saamne khade ho jayiye
Agar gaay aapke paas aati hai,
to samjh lena ki aapke dimag mein Bhoosa hai!
aur agar door chali jaati hai,
to aapka dimaag Khaali hai
ise kehte hain chit bhi meri, pat bhi meri SHARE karo ab!

Funny Facebook Jokes going viral on WhatsApp

Why do we sometimes write ‘etc’ at the end in the exam?
bcoz it means…
E- End of
T- Thinking
C- Capacity.
——————–
What is the Diff b/w Young Age & Old Age?
Simple : In Young Age Phone Is Full Of Darlings Numbers.
In Old Age : Its Full of Doctors Numbers.
——————–
Why is Facebook such a hit ?

It works on the principle that
‘People are more interested in others life than their own.
——————–
We pronounce 22 as Twenty Two,
33 as Thirty Three,
44 as Forty Four,
55 as Fifty Five,
Why not 11 as Onety One?
Doubt By last bench association.
——————–
Whats the diff between Pongal and idly?
think…think..think…
Ans : U ll get a holiday for pongal but not for idly.
——————–
What will be the girl’s name born on 1st of APRIL ?
Guess Guess Guess Guess
Ans : “FOOLAN DEVI..
——————–
What is the height of confusion?
Two earth worms Playing HIDE AND SEEK in a Plate full of noodles.
——————–
What is the Biggest Benefit of having a crush in
the same college where you study ?
Ans 100% Attendanzzz
——————–
Teacher: What Is The Difference Between HIMAMI & TSUNAMI ?
Pappu : HIMAMI is Face Wash, TSUNAMI is Total Wash.!

very funny Alia Bhatt Meme Jokes alia-bhatt-dumb-meme-jokes

top best funny jokes..Help Sanskari Alok Nath by Solving this Question in Exam

Solve this question, and help Alok Nath in climbing the Mountain Kailash!

funny jokes in hindi..Alok Nath Version of ‘Party All Night’ – Aarti All Night

 
Aaj mandira khullan do
Kanyadaan Hullan do
nariyal ko fod faad ke
dukh ashanti bhullan do…
Aarti all night..
Aarti all night..
Aarti all night..
We Do Aarti all night..
Sunlo saari duniya walo
jitna bhi tum jor lagalo
karenge aarti saari raat
hath me dum hai to ghanti bajalo..
Aarti all night..
Aarti all night..
Aarti all night..
We Do Aarti all night..
Sunlo saari duniya walo
jitna bhi tum jor lagalo
karenge aarti saari raat
hath me dum hai to ghanti bajalo..
Aaj mandira khullan do
Kanyadaan Hullan do
nariyal ko fod faad ke
dukh ashanti bhullan do…
Bajate Raho..Ghantiiiii
Bajate Raho…Ghantiiii
bajate raho….ghnatiii
bajate rahooo
Aarti all night..
Aarti all night..
Aarti all night..
We Do Aarti all night.. [x2]
Jisne Bhi aarti hai karni
aajao mandir ke bheetar
Nariyal fool lekar
khane ko laga hai langar…
Sadda gudgaon delhi ki betiyaan aayi hai
sath me bhole ki CDiyaan bhi laayi hai
Pujari Prasad ke khud jimedaar hai
karlo aarti saari raat Kal itwar hai..
Ghanti Bajegi Loud
To beti Police bula legi
Us beti se jaake kehdo Ye aarti Yun hi chalegi
Aarti all night..
Aarti all night..
Aarti all night..
We Do Aarti all night..
beti Police bula legi
beti Police bula legi
beti Police bula legi
beti Police bula legi
Fir bhi
aarti Yun hi chalegi
aarti Yun hi chalegi
aarti Yun hi chalegi
aarti Yun hi chalegi
Aarti all night..
Aarti all night..
Aarti all night..
We Do Aarti all night..
Khulla mandir Guru Dwara
har beti bole ghar nahi jana
Babuji ko tu karde msg
aaja beti karke bahana
Aarti Hori bahot bhayankar
Aarti ke gajab najare
Jee karta hai bas ek baar hi
Kardu mai Kanyadan tumhare..
Ek kunwari beti ne yun ghnati baja rahi hai
ek hath se baj nahi rahi,do do baja rahi hai
Naache dekho kaisi…Mehfil macha rakhi hai
Itti si tu hai nahi..hein?
Sanskaar bhula rahi hai…
Aarti all night..
Aarti all night..
Aarti all night..
We Do Aarti all night..
beti Police bula legi
beti Police bula legi
beti Police bula legi
beti Police bula legi
Fir bhi
aarti Yun hi chalegi
aarti Yun hi chalegi
aarti Yun hi chalegi
aarti Yun hi chalegi
Sunlo saari duniya walo
jitna bhi tum jor lagalo
karenge aarti saari raat
hath me dum hai to ghanti bajalo..
Aaj mandira khullan do
Kanyadaan Hullan do
nariyal ko fod faad ke
dukh ashanti bhullan do…
Bajate Raho..Ghantiiiii
Bajate Raho…Ghantiiii
bajate raho….ghnatiii
bajate rahooo
beti Police bula legi
beti Police bula legi
beti Police bula legi
beti Police bula legi
Fir bhiaarti Yun hi chalegiaarti Yun hi chalegiaarti Yun hi chalegiaarti Yun hi chalegi

top funny jokes of Alok Nath Version of ‘Lungi Dance’

This Song (on Alok Nath Sanskaars) Lyrics are based on Lungi Dance (Thalaiwaa) song from the movie Chennai Express.

Sanskaro ko dimag me bithake
alok nath ke jaisa tilak lagake
prasad me nariyal milake
Aa jaao sare mood banake
satsang me jab ye gana bajega
sanskaro me aana padega
ghantii ko bajana padega
charansparsh krke dikhana padega
ladki walo ki taraf se aaya me too
mujhko rokega kon oor kaiko
sari betiyon ka kanyadan karunga
kisi ke daddy se nai darunga
Jisko jo bi hai wo karna wo kar lo
Idhar hi hoon mai khada pakad lo
Ghar pe jaake tum Google kar lo
Mere sanskaro ko Wikipedia pe padh lo

top funny jokes of Alok Nath Version of ‘Blue Eyes’ and ‘Jab Tak Hai Jaan’

Alok Nath Version of Blue Eyes

Laal Saari, hypnotise teri kardi a
mennu,
I swear! Puri dress mein Sanskari lagdi
mennu,
Glossy jumke, uff yeah Bindiya,
Beti lagdi e Dulhan,
hari om hari om
Heart Attack kare teri vidhai ka dar.
Laal Saari, hypnotise teri kardi a
mennu,
I swear! Puri dress mein Sanskari lagdi
mennu, Sanskari lagdi
mennu, Sanskari lagdi mennu.
Mera aashirwad liya kar jab m
kanyadan krta hu ,
Me wo babuji jo sirf rota rehta hu,
Shadi m aaya hu ,tera kanyadan karlu,
Dek lunga tere saas aur sasur nu..
Leke chalu mandir ,nariyal todke,
sidhe aashirwad du ,na du tolmol k
tonight m gonna hold agarbati light
kar diya tera kanyadan phne krke
garhpe bol de
Laal Saari, hypnotise teri kardi a
mennu,
I swear! Puri dress mein Sanskari lagdi
mennu,
Glossy Jumke, uff yeah Bindiya,
Beti lagdi e Dulhan,
hari om hari om
Heart Attack kare teri vidhai ka dar.
Satsang pe chalna hai ya pehle jayegi
Mandir,
Nahi mera matlab, Satsang ke Mandir,
Tab Lunga Prasad, nahi to Agarbati,
Mandir mien hogi Ghanti, beti Satsang
me asaram ke Geet
You Decide
Ke kya karna hai,
Tera to aaj hi kanyadaan karna hai
Gangajal gira diya hai tune meri pant
pe,
Kehti hai Dhoti phenlo Guru Dwara leke
rent pay.
Laal Saari, hypnotise teri kardi a
mennu,
I swear! Puri dress mein Sanskari lagdi
mennu,
Glossy jumke, uff yeah Bindiya,
Beti lagdi e Dulhan,
hari om hari om
Heart Attack kare teri vidhai ka dar.
Suna tere mann mandir mein mere
Kirtan bajte hai,
Samdhan banane ka tere koi plan hai,
Shadi kradu, Fere Lagvadu,
Teri Saas bhi beti Alok ki Samdhan hai,
Teri Saas bhi beti Alok ki Samdhan hai,
Ah, Kehndi Shri Shri Alok Nath.
Laal Saari, hypnotise teri kardi a
mennu,
I swear! Puri dress mein Sanskari lagdi
mennu,
Glossy jumke, uff yeah Bindiya,
Beti lagdi e Dulhan,
hari om hari om
Heart Attack kare teri vidhai ka dar.
Laal Saari, hypnotise teri kardi a
mennu,
I swear! Puri dress mein Sanskari lagdi
mennu, Sanskari lagdi
mennu, Sanskari lagdi mennu.

Alok Nath Version of Jab Tak Hai Jaan

Meri Samdhan Ji Ke Sath Namkeen Mastiyan
Meri Aashirwad Ki Beparwaah Gustakhiyaan
Mere Hatho Se Huye Kaanyadan
Nahi BHoolunga Mai
Jab Tak Hai Sanskaar,Jab Tak Hai Sanskaar,

Mere Banaye Rishte Ka Majak Udana
Tera Yun Meri Baar Baar Pagadi Uchalna
Mere Upar Gaane Banana
Nahi Maaf Karunga Mai
Jab Tak Hai Sanskaar,Jab Tak Hai Sanskaar,

Mandiron Me Mera Bedhadak Aarti Gaane Se
Baat Baat Pe Bevajah Aashirwad Dene Se
Dhoop aur Agarbatti Jalane Se
Mohabbat Karunga Mai,
Jab Tak Hai Sanskaar,Jab Tak Hai Sanskaar,

Mere Trolls Banane Walon Se,
Mera Yun Majak Banane Se,
Mere Beraham Trends Se,
Nafrat Karunga Mai,
Jab Tak Hai Sanskaar,Jab Tak Hai Sanskaar

top Funny Alok Nath Jokes....

Alok Nath has replaced Rajnikant and CID jokes and all memes!!
Enjoy these, Like n Share!
1. When alok nath was born, doctor said “badhai ho, babuji hue hain”
2. Alok Nath school mein bhi lunch box ke badle Prasad le jaya karte the
3. Alok Nath temple run bhi chappal utar kar khelte hain
4. Alok Nath has no friends because he turns “Dosti into Rishteydaari”
5. Alok nath is so sanskari that he smokes agarbattis.
6. Alok Nath celebrated bachelor party in Vaishno Devi.
7. Alok Nath had all senior citizen privileges since he was 6 years old.
8. The only two wars Alok Nath has seen in his life.- Haridwar and Pariwar
9. Alok Nath has such a personality that sometimes his wife calls him bhaisahab!
10. Alok Nath was the first person to call Parle as ParleG
11. In school days, Alok Nath bunked a lecture to attend his daughter’s wedding.
12. Alok Nath has never received salary , he always receives pension
13. Alok Nath reads “All Indians are my brothers and sisters” as “All Indians are my Samdhans and Samdhis”.
14. Alok Nath is someone who is worried about Kanyadaan of the Girl who is yet to be born!
15. Alok Nath’s WhatsApp shows : “Last seen doing Kanyadaan at …”
16. When you type Alok Nath on Google search, “I’m feeling Lucky” changes to “I’m feeling Sanskari”
17. Alok Nath wants Facebook to add ‘Aashirwad’ button.

18. Alok naths morning tea is made with Gangajal
19. Alok naths watch displays only Achchha and Bura Samay
20. Alok Nath convinced Sunny Leone to quit porn.!
21. Alok Nath’s Caller Tune is ‘Babul ki Duaayein Leti Jaa…’
Alok Nath CV Reads as:-
Degree- MBA in Kanyadaan
Skills- Sanskaar
Experience- 10022848 Kanyadaans done
Hobby- Giving Ashirwads!

top funny iPhone 6 WhatsApp Jokes are here – have fun!

When u fall down and your iPhone 6 is in your pocket and u hear a crack,
u’ll just be thinking
“Lord pls let that be my leg”
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Congratulations… iphone 6 launched..
The best feature of iPhone 6 is that if you hold it upside down it becomes iPhone 9
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iPhone users who’ve been saying
“I love my small iPhone, Android phones are too big for me” all these years…. Apple just orphaned you…!!
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Gujjus will not be affected by iPhone 6 launch…
They will continue to flash their iPhone 4S and say
“iPhone Chhe”.
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With the launch of iPhone 6, OLX is more excited than Apple….
as people will sell old phones, car, house etc to buy iPhone.
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Santa: is Apple Chinese or American?
Banta: Apple is Chinese, as all iPhones look d same.
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Dear Apple,
iPhone 6 Will Be Priced At 70k…
iPhone-9 Ke Saath Kya Nano Free Milegi …
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iPhone’s Are Like The Golmaal Movie
Every New Version Has The Same Features…
But is Longer Than The Previous One..!!
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iPhone6 costs more than the total money Harman Baweja
earned from his Bollywood career…!!
LIKE LIKE LIKE now

Funny Asaram Bapu Shayari...

Raghupati raghav raja raam,
Jail ke andar Aasaram!
Sadhu ban ke aise kaam,
Kaidi ban ke karo Aaram!
Dekh liye apna anjaam,
Hue budhaape mein Badnaam!
Jhoote pakhandi ke naam,
Dekh ka hai yeh Paigaam!
Khud ko kehte the bhagwan,
Pakde gaye na Jhandu Balm!
—-
Jo yeh post share kare, usko Jaadoo ki jhappi
Aur jo na kare use Aasaram baapu ki Pappi :-*

funny jokes..Corporate Bhagwad Gita

Hey Employee,
Tum pichli late promotion ka paschatap mat karo
Tum Agli Promotion ki chinta bhi mat karo
Bus apni current posting se hi prassan raho
Tum Jab nahin the tab bhi ye office chal raha tha
Tum jab nahin hoge, tab bhi ye chalta rehega
Jo Desktop aaj tumhara hai, Kal kisi or ka tha; aur Parso kisi or ka hoga
Tum ise apna samajh kar magan ho rahe ho, Yahi tumhare samast dukho ka kaaran hai
Appraisal, incentive, promotion increment ye shabad apne man se nikal do
Phir tum is office ke ho
Aur ye office tumhara hai!!
LIKE if you agree

Bollywood movies name fits well for school life

Class = BARDASHT
Attendance = HERA PHERI
Class Room = NO ENTRY
Teacher = JANI DUSHMAN
Exam = EVIL DEAD
Examinar = DON
Friend During Papers = HUM AAP KE HAIN KAUN ?

Marking = ANDHA KANOON
Exam Time = QAYAMAT
Cheating = LAGE RAHO MUNNA BHAI
Question Paper = PAHELI
Answer Paper = KORA KAGHAZ
Result = SADMA
Pass = CHAMATKAR
Fail = DEVDAS
Future = NA TUM JANO NA HUM!!

FUNNY GOOD JOKES IN HINDI..

Breakup on Diwali – Sad but funny

Boy bought gift for his girlfriend..
Gf: what the hell would i do with dis diwali rocket??
Boy: you wanted stars na??
now sit on it and
get lost !! ..

Tamil Guy with His Girlfriend on a Dinner Date..VERY FUNNY JOKES IN HINDI

Tamil Guy with His Girlfriend on a Dinner Date

Tamil guy takes his girlfriend on a dinner date.
Guy: My dinner treat! Come to Bobby Ganeshan.
Girl Friend: Come to what?
Guy: Bobby Ganeshan, I say.
Girl Friend: I don’t know this place. I’ll come to your house & you take me there.
Guy: You don’t know Bobby Ganeshan? Wokay, I’ll take you there.
Girlfriend and Guy both reach Bobby Ganeshan.
Girlfriend:
Damn you idiot!!!
It’s pronounced as “Barbeque Nation!”

TOP VERY FUNNY BEST JOKES IN HINDI

Bina dard ke daant nikalna

Bachcha (Doctor se): Kya koi bina dard ke bhi daant nikal sakta hai?
Doctor: Nahin
Bachcha: Main nikal sakta hoon!
Doctor: Ho hi nahin sakta, mujhe bhi dikhao…
Bachcha: Ha ha ha ha ha hahahaha
(bachche ne battisi dikha di )

Santa ki Kidney

Doctor To Santa:
Aap ki Ek Kidney Fail Ho Gayi Hai..
Santa Pehle To Bohat Roya…
Phir Aansu Ponchte Hue
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Kitne Number Se ??

Mechanic & Doctor – The Pay Difference

A mechanic was removing the engine parts from a motorcycle.
When he saw famous heart surgeon in his shop,
he called the surgeon and said “look at this engine i opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired and put them back, so why do i get such a small salary and u get such a huge one?”
The doctor smiled at the mechanic and came close to his ear and said
“Try the same when the engine is running” !!

FUNNY Amazing Answers by A Kid in an Exam...READ IT AND SHARE

Amazing Answers by A Kid in an Exam

Ek bachche ne saare prashno ke jawab diye aur fir bhi exam me fail ho gaya…..
Kyun?
Kyunki, sawalo ke jawab kuchh iss tarah the…
Q: Tipu Sultan ki mrityu kis yuddh mein hui thi?
A: Uske akhiri yuddh mein.
Q: Talaak ka pramukh karan kya hai?
A: Shaadi.
Q: Ganga kis state mein beheti hai?
A: Liquid State.
Q: Mahatma Gandhi ka janm kab hua tha?
A: Unke janmdin ke din.
Q: 6 logo ke beech Aam ko kaise baantoge?
A: Mango Shake bana kar.
Q: Bharat mein poore saal sabse jyada barf kaha girti hai?
A: Daaru ke glass mein.
Hain na Ajeeb aur correct jawab… Now SHARE this.

TOP FUNNY JOKES ON SARDARS IN HINDI

Santa Singh Asks A Mendak about Sardars

Ek baar Santa Singh ne ek MENDAK se puchha ki ‘Sardaro me dimag hota hai’?
Mendak bola: nahin, Aur paani mein kood gaya.
Santa Sardar pura din sochta raha isme SUICIDE karne wali kya baat thi ?
        Fighter Pilot Santa Ki Kamyabi Fighter pilot Santa, kamyabi ke baad apna Plane land karne pe bahut khush hua..
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Niche utarne pe ground staff ne usey turant welcome kiya aur uski wardi utarne me help karne lage..
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Santa (fakr se): Aaj maine Pakistan ke 4 jahaaz, 2 helicopter or 1 tank ko mara hai..
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Ground Staff: Wo sab to theek hai lekin sir ji apne1 galti kar di..
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Santa :Kaun si galti?
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Ground Staff: Bas aap isi khushi me Pakistan me hi land kar gaye hain!!   

 

 

Pakistan ki nadiyo k naam batao

Teacher:
Pappu Beta,
Ganga, yamuna, Kaveri, Krishna, Bharat ki nadiyo k naam hain
to pakistan ki nadiyo k naam batao??
Pappu: Rukhsana, Farzana, Rizwana, Sultana, Shabana!!