SANTA IN TRAIN...BEST FUNNY JOKES MUST READ

SANTA IN TRAIN

Ek baar Santa train mein safar kar raha tha

Train mein bahut bheed hone ke karan, Santa ek Ganje aadmi ki seat par baith gaya.

Aadmi gusse se jhunjhla kar bola: “Seat pe kya, mera sir par hi baith ja”

Santa: Nahin Uncle, Main yahin theek hoon, waha se fisalne ka darr hai 

SANTA-BANTA BEST FUNNY JOKES THIS MONTH..

SANTA AUR BIJLI

Santa pe bijli ki taar gir gayi
Santa tadap tadap ke marne hi wala tha ki..

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Use yaad aaya

Ki Bijlee to 2 ghante se banda hai,
Wapas uth gaya aur bola: Saala, Dara diya!

SANTA AUR BARISH...MUST READ

Santa jab bhi kapde dhota, tab hi baarish ho jaati.

Ek din dhoop nikli toh usne shukr kiya aur dukaan pe surf lene gaya.

Wo jaise hi dukaan par gaya,
baadal zor-zor se garajne lage.

Santa fatafat aasmaan ki taraf muh karke bola:
Kya?
Kidhar??
Main toh biscuit lene aaya hoon,
kasam se…!!!  

MOST FUNNY SANTA BANTA STUPID HJOKES IN HINDI...LOL

Santa’s e-banking password

Santa’s e-banking password was:

“ram-sita-laxman-hanuman-ravan-delhi-kejriwal”

Banta: Yaar! Itna lamba password?

Santa: Kya karoon. Bank wale kehte hai ki password main 5 character aur 1 capital hona chahie….

Banta: wo sab thik hai, par Kejri uncle kyun ??

Santa: Ek special character bhi zaroori hai….  

FUNNY JOKES OF SANTA-BANTA IN HINDI..

A Gujrati, a Madrasi and a Sardaar

A Gujrati, a Madrasi and a Sardaar were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were having lunch and Gujju opened his lunch box & said, “Dhokla! If I get dhokla one more time for lunch, I’m going to jump off this building.”

The Madrasi opened his lunch box and exclaimed, “Idli Sambhar again! IfI get idli sambhar one more time I’m going to jump off too.”

The Sardaar opened his lunch and said, “Parontha again! If I get a parontha one more time, I’m jumping too.”

The next day, the Gujju opened his lunch box, saw dhokla, and jumped to his death.

The Madrasi opened his lunch, saw idli sambhar, and jumped, too.

The Sardaar opened his lunch, saw the parontha and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral, Gujju’s wife was weeping..
She said, “If I’d known how really tired he was of dhokla, I never would have given it to him again!”

The Madrasi’s wife also wept
and said, “I could have given him dossa!I didn’t realize he hated idli sambhar so much.”

Everyone turned and stared at the Santa Sardaar’s wife.

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The Sardar’s wife said,
“Don’t look at me. He makes his own lunch.”  

FUNNY Palak’s Shayari for Madhuri Dixit..

Palak’s Shayari for Madhuri Dixit

Mera dhuadaar dance dekh ke

ek din aap mujhe daad doge

Mera dhuadaar dance dekh ke
ek din aap mujhe daad doge

tamma tamma loge, tamma tamma loge tamma…

Palak’s Shayari for Huma Qureshi

Thande paani se nahane se
Bachcho ko ho jaata hai pneumonia

Thande paani se nahane se
Bachcho ko ho jaata hai pneumonia

oo woomaniya, aaaa woomaniya, e-e woomaniya!

PALAK'S SHAYARI--NA JEENE KI ARZOO OF COMEDY NIGHTS

Arz Kiya hai…

Na jeene ki arzoo, na marne ka khauf

Na jeene ki arzoo, na marne ka khauf

The number you are dialing is currently switched off! 

FUNNY PALAK POEMS IN COMEDY NIGHTS...KADAKTI DHUP ME..

Palak’s poem Jab kadkadati dhoop mein

for Ali Zafar who came for promotion of ‘Total Siyapa’ Movie with Yami Gautam.

Jab kadkadati dhoop mein,
Main swimming karti hoon

Jab kadkadati dhoop mein,
Main swimming karti hoon

mera rang pad jata hai kala…

(kapil: shareer ladki ka muh halwai wala)

Palak:
Panghat pe naache, nache re nache madhubala!

FUNNY JOKES,POEM OF GUTTHI-IF U DON'T MIND..AP AYE..

GUTTHI POEM-IF U DONT MIND

Aap Aaye Hai Hamare Ghar Mein..

Phool Khile Hai Gulshan Gulshan..

Aap Aaye Hai Hamare Ghar Mein..
Phool Khile Hai Gulshan Gulshan..

Mehki Hai har Kali Kali…
Mehki Hai Har Kali Kali..
Chura Ke Dil Mera Goriya Chali…
Uda Ke Nindiya Kaha Tu Chali..

FUNNY GUTTHI POEMS FOR AKSHAY KUMAR..

Baari barsi khatan gaya si

Khatt ke leyandi saari

Baari barsi khatan gaya si

Khatt ke leyandi saari

Main Khilaadi, tu anaadi

Main Khilaadi, tu anaadi
o o o ooo o o (song tune) :

COMEDY NIGHTS WITH KAPIL FUNNY SONG BY SONU NIGAM...KAPIL O KAPIL..

This song lyrics are similar to ‘Yeh Dil Deewana’ song from Movie Pardes, sung by Sonu Nigam.

Kapil

O Kapil…

1, 2, 3…..

Kapil

Deewaaanaa
Mastaanaaa hai Kapil
Comedy Nights… Number One
Number one…. hai yeh Kapil

Iski Bua hai sabpe bhari
Daadi ki daaru se yaari
Biwi iske Pyaar ko Tarse…. Bechaariiii

Gutthi Palak ka apna Ronaaaa
Siddhu Sahab ko chup na honaaa…
Pagal ho jaaye jo saare jaaye Mil…. Kapil

O Deewanaa

O deewanaa… hai yeh kapil

BEST GUTTHI KAPIL FUNNY SHARAYIS IN COMEDY NIGHTS

Na train mein, na phoolo mein
na rasoi mein na rain mein
dard milta hai to
tere diye hue pain mein…!

Na tan se, na mann se, na dhan se
Sarkar darti hai, to anna ke anshan se

Gutthi
——-
Arz thoka hai..
Tum kya keemat lagaoge is bazaar mein meri wafa ki,

Tum kya keemat lagaoge is bazaar mein meri wafa ki,

Jidhar dekho bazaar mein 50% off chal raha hai!!

Kapil
——
Rishton ke bazaar mein mohabbat ki daulat na baantna,

Rishton ke bazaar mein mohabbat ki daulat na baantna,Basanti in kutton ke samne mat nachana..!! 

Gutthi
——-
Teri chahat mein na bujhne diya, pyar ka diya..

Teri chahat mein na bujhne diya, pyar ka diya..

Piya, piya o piya piya
Piya , piya oh piya

Kapil
——
Kuch bhi karle eh haseena

Kuch bhi karle eh haseena

Nahi lagega tera chance,

One, two, three , four
Lungi dance, lungi dance

Gutthi to Sidhu
—————–
Paaji.. Gutthi aa gayi aapki,
nahi yeh apne baap ki,
Lekin yeh hai aapki.. Paaji..
Kaindi po
Kaindi pee
Kaindi poo

BEST FUNNY KAPIL-GUTTHI-PALAK PJ'S,SHARAYIS...SHARE IT

KAPIL-GUTTHI PJ'S

Kapil Sharma: Arey yaar yeh Gandhi ji har note par hanste kyon rahte hai?

Gutthi: Simple hai, wo royenge toh note geela ho jayega na …..ha ha.. Don’t Mind 

Machhli: eeuu eeu eeuu

Saanp: Uuummmmm

Machhli: Tum machli kyu nahi khate…

Saanp: Kyuki machli me kaante hote hain na…

Machli: To chappal pehan ke kha liya kar 

 Comedy Nights, Funny Shayari |  Gutthi-Palak, PJ |

Aapki Zulfe Jaise Noodle
Aapka Chehra Jaise Halwa…

Aapki Zulfe Jaise Noodle
Aapka Chehra Jaise Halwa…
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Jalwa.. Fashion Ka Hai Yeh Jalwaaaaaaaa

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This joke was sung by Palak in Comedy Nights with Kapil 

MOST FUNNY BEST PJ'S OF THJE WEEK IN HINDI,ENGLISH...MUST READ

Popcorn  garm tave par 

Aapko pataa hai ki Popcorn ko garm tave par rakhne par wo uchhalte kyun hai?

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Nahi pata ..?

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Kabhi khud baith kar dekhna ..

Pata chal jayega …  

Donald Duck (DD) and Mickey Mouse (MM) ghoomne nikle.

Ek baar Donald Duck (DD) and Mickey Mouse (MM) ghoomne nikle.

Raste mein DD ne puchha, Mickey, Ramayan suna na yaar?

MM: Nahin, mujhe nahin aati

Yeh sunkar Donald Duck ko gussa aa gaya, aur usne Mickey mouse ko buri tarah se peeta… aur puchha,
Mickey, Ramayana yaad aayi?

MM: Nahin, yaad nahi aayi 

Phir DD ne use ghaseet kar, ek hath se deewar par latka diya, aur phir puchha..
Mickey, Ab aayi Ramayank yaad?

Aur iss baar Micket ne farrate se bina bhoole poori Ramayan suna di.
Pata hai kyun??

Kyunki Jab mickey ko Wall se latkaya to he became WalMiki… 

VIDEO OF FUNNY MONTAGE..

MOST FUNNY FACIAL EXPRESSIONS EVER SEEN

SEE THE FUNNY VIDEO...PEHCHAN KAUN I BET U CANT GUESS

I BET U CANNOT GUESS WHAT IT IS

FUNNY DANCE VIDEO OF MEGHNA PATEL ON MODI TUNES

MOST FUNNY VIDEOS SEEN EVER.

WORST MOVIE MURDER SCENE

TOP FUNNY KAPIL-DADIJI JOKES IN HINDI,ENGLISH...ALOK NATH KA KUTTA,KAPIL KI FUNNY SHAYARIS

Jul 19, 2014 Alok Nath Ka Kutta

Mast hai na Babuji ke kutte ka naam 

 Comedy Nights, Jokes |  Alok Nath, Hindi | Joker

Jul 16, 2014 Funny Hindi Shayari – Kapil Joke

Koi Aankhon se baat kar leta hai

Koi Aankho hi aankhon mein mulaqat kar leta hai

Bada Mushqil hota hai jawab dena,

Jab koi English mein baat kar leta hai! 

TOP MOST FUNNY BABAJI KE THULLUU JOKES IN HINDI COMEDY NIGHTS

 Comedy Nights |  Computer Programming, Hindi | Joker

Aug 4, 2014 Delhi Vs Rajasthan

Delhi walo, kyun rote rehte ho? 

 Comedy Nights |  Hindi, Kapil, Weather | Joker

Jul 31, 2014 Salman Ki Shaadi

Salman: Kapil meri shaadi kab hogi?

Kapil: Kabhi nahin, kyunki tumhari zindagi mein sirf khushiya likhi hai 

 Comedy Nights, Husband Wife |  Hindi, Salman Khan | Joker

Jul 24, 2014 Baarish Mein Couples

Baarish mein couples:

Wow Kitna romantic weather hai…

Aur Singles:

Kya saala, har jagah paani paani, Pura keechad ho gaya!

BEST HINDI FUNNY JOKES...MUST READ LSDKE KA SACHA PYAR,STUDENT KI LOVE STORY MORE..

vacuum cleaner salesman

A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked at the door?.

A lady opened it. Before she could speak… The salesman rushed into the living room and emptied a bag of cow shit on the carpet.

Salesman: – Madam, if I couldn’t clean this up in the next 3 minutes with my new powerful vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this shit..!!

Lady: Do you need Chili Sauce with that?

Salesman: – Why Madam?

Lady: – Because there’s no electricity in the house…!!!  

MORAL: – Gather all resources before working on any project and committing to the client… & over smartness in India can be deadly. 

STUDENT KI LOVE STORY 

Ek Student Ko Apni Classmate Se Pyar Ho Gaya Ladke Ne Use Prapose Kiya,

Lekin Ladki Ne Inkar Kar Diya Aur Teacher Ko Uski Complain Kardi Teacher Ne Ladke Ko Kaafi Daanta

Aur 1 week Ke Liye Class Se Nikal Diya Jab 1 week Baad Ladka Wapas Class Me Gaya To Ladki Ko Us Se Pyar Ho Gaya..

Ladki Ne Us Ladke Ki Book Me Likha:”
I M Sorry & I Love You Too..

Ladke Ne Koi Response Nhi Diya, Isi Tarah Chaar Saal Guzar Gaye

Moral: bewkoof Ladki Itna Bhi Nahi Samajhti ki Ladke Kabhi Books Nahi Kholte Hai. 

Ek Ladke Ko ek Ladki Se Pyar Ho Gaya
Lekin, Ladki Ne Use Thukra Diya

Ladke Ne Kaha Tum 10 Din Ke Andar Mujhse Mohabbat Ka Iqrar Karogi!

Aur Ladka Din Raat Barish Me Dhoop Me
UsKe Ghar Ke Samne Khada Raha

9 Din K Bad Ladki Ko Sach Me Ladke Ki Mohabbat Ka Ahsas Ho Gya

UsNe Socha,
Subah Pyar Ka Iqrar Krungi,
Lekin Jab Wo Ladke Ko Milne Gayi To Ladka Use Wahan Na Mila
Aur 1 Kagaz Mila Jis Par Likha Tha…

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Tere Chakkar Mein Teri Sister Set Ho Gayi Hai

Sorry Saali Sahiba  

TOP SANTA BANTA FUNNY HINDI JOKES...ENJOY...SANTA KI AKHIRI KHAWISH

Jailor: Faansi pe latakne se pahle koi aakhri

khwaish…?

Santa: Biwi se milna hai…

Jailor: Biwi se hi kyun, Mama papa se kyun nahi…?

Santa: Saale agle janam me.. Mama Papa to Janm lete hi mil jayenge, par Biwi to 25 saal baad milegi na…. 

Desperate Santa  

READ FUNNY HINDI JOKES SANTA KA CHAIN MESSEGE,CHALAAK SANTA..

Chain message by Santa:

Please iss message ko itna forward kariye ki…
meri girlfriend tak pahunch jaaye!

“Preeto, tune sim change kar ke achcha nahi kiya…
marja kutti %^*…”  

Santa school me gadha le ke aaya…

Madam: Ye gadha, Q laye ho?

Santa: Madam aap hi to Kehti ho ke maine bade bade gadho ko insan banaya hai. To maine socha ki ab iski bhi life ban jaegi . 

Chalaak Santa!  :-p

FREE MOST FUNNY SANTA BANTA JOKES IN HINDI,COOL SANTA SANTA IN TITANIC...MORE

Titanic was sinking…

Santa: How far is the earth from here?

Banta: 1 kilometer.

Santa jumped into the sea and asked again: in which direction..?

Banta: Downwards !

 

Surgeon: I am sorry, it seems a rubber glove was left inside you after the operation, We have to operate you again…

Santa: Ro mat, Ye le 20Rs. Naya le lena..!